[quote:h8buh5cr]
For years I looked at my knee injury as a setback. But it was just the opposite. If I continued on my path we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I would not have met the people I met, trained where I trained and experienced all that has allowed me to do what I do today. I would not be living the lifestyle I enjoy now and above all I would not have met my wife. In retrospect, my injury was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Who knows what life I would be living, but it sure as hell would not be half as great as it is right now.
[…]
The world has a plan, it’s our job to figure out what that plan is.[/quote:h8buh5cr]
Your statements are very profound and also reflect a realization I’ve come to.
And it’s this: God (the world, universe, cosmos, whatever) does indeed have a plan. In fact, it’s not a plan at all, but an assignment. It’s a mission, a duty, and an honor. The hardest part is figuring out what the hell it is.
I’ve come to realize that regret and failure are pretty much identical illusions. My mistakes have all served to funnel me towards my purpose. For example, having a rap sheet with felonies on it has closed many, many doors to me. And no one is to blame for this but me. I don’t cry about it, but it used to piss me off because I knew I could outperform anyone in any job. I have a unique ability to master anything quickly.
As a result, this forces me to evaluate options I might never take seriously. It’s like a giant cosmic funnel – please excuse the Oprahfication here – channeling me to a single point of purpose.
I think I would have been the ideal soldier, for example, because only people with extremely high ideals and cemented notion of self are going to be able to hold up under pressure without coming apart. Plus, my work ethic has not been matched by anyone I’ve ever met.
I imagine God up there thinking, “this guy works so damn hard, he’s going to end up succeeding at the wrong thing.” This is paradoxical, because only I am responsible for my bad decisions and lapses of judgment, but I’ve come to realize that all of these were factored into the plan. Not that I fully realize what the plan is, but I’m getting an idea of it.
I’ve been fired from jobs after being told I was an incredible worker, but their policy didn’t allow for felons. That’s tough. But I forge ahead.
By the way, having been locked up before many years ago, I can tell you that there are many good men with criminal records who I would trust more than a lot of the deceitful people I’ve worked with who don’t have records. A lot of the guys in jail aren’t evil men, but they had bad influences and they made bad decisions. That’s why I’m not quick to condemn everyone. I don’t judge by appearances. I used to work for a mortgage firm and I can tell you that this bunch of degenerate rats and snakes were *FAR* worse than the “criminals” I was locked up with. Don’t even get me started.
This is why I evaluate people on their character, which is composed of their honesty and their discipline. An honest man takes responsibility for their bad decisions and doesn’t play the victim. Inmates would ask me what I was in for, and I’d say, “for breakin the law.” Other guys would spend years trying to find legal loopholes to excuse their stupidity. Me? I just admitted it, took the hit, and got the hell out of there. I despised the ones who wouldn’t admit their responsibility. I did not want to become them.
But I believe all of this has served to funnel me towards my assignment. We all were created for a specific purpose, mission, and assignment. I think that the only thing required is a willingness to accept that assignment, even if it is not fully known. That willingness and mental acceptance of a higher purpose will guide you down the right paths consciously or not. And sometimes going down the right path means you have to go down the wrong path and meet a dead end.
My focus can actually be a weakness because I will meet a dead end and proceed to get even more focused and pissed off at it, intending to annihilate it. Then I realize that maybe I ought to take a damn hint and go another way. It’s hard to know sometimes whether to try again or to try something else.
An example would be my previous marriage. I am an honorable and loyal person. Occasionally to a fault. I married my ex because I got her pregnant – seemed like the honorable thing to do. But sometimes one mistake doesn’t mean you compound it with a worse mistake. She was clearly not the person I was to be with. Now here I am paying child support, which I could have been doing all along anyway, saving my daughter a whole lot of pointless drama. However, this colossal failure served to very, very clearly define for me precisely what kind of woman I’d actually want to marry. My ex was my opposite in every conceivable way, from healthy eating, to fiscal discipline, to positive thinking, etc.
I realized that you are *not* responsible for changing another person; they have their own decisions to make and all the pep talks in the world are wasted on the wrong people. I mean, hell, even Jesus was sold out by a guy he personally mentored for three years – and this guy saw him do miracles and walk on friggin water. I mean, what else do you need?
My honesty is my greatest strength because it means that I learn the lessons. It’s also the secret to my resilience, which a guy described as a bouncing ball that hits the pavement and bounces back even higher. I get over stuff incredibly fast.
I think the analogy of a funnel is pretty apt. Through life you’re bouncing off the walls of this funnel which is gradually narrowing to a single point of focus and purpose.
So, I’ve done immoral things for which I take full responsibility, but the weird thing is that my bad decisions have actually served a good purpose to point me in the right direction.
However, if I was the kind of person to play the victim and blame others for my failed opportunities, then these things wouldn’t have served to point me in the right direction. And every door that shuts helps me to rule out going down another dead end path.
This is why I stay positive and keep in mind my general objective of prospering and helping others. Everything then gradually aligns in that direction. I don’t have to work out the details.
And one thing I’ve learned is that you cannot anticipate opportunities, but you can expect them. Who the hell knows what opportunities will arise 5 seconds from now or 5 weeks from now.
Opportunity is the reason no one should ever give up. People get depressed because they see no opportunity right now. But the nature of opportunity is that it is always appearing at any moment. You have to expect it and look for it. Kind of like a fight, where you wait for your opening and then you explode through it. Or like a running back who takes the handoff and comes to a dead stop behind the line of scrimmage, before exploding though the hole created by the offensive line.
When you come to dead stop in life, it ain’t over. Wait for the hole – look for it. Then hit it.
So, I regret certain things in a moral sense, but then, ironically, I’m glad these setbacks took place to keep me from going in a wrong direction.
I believe there is nothing I couldn’t succeed at. Which is actually not a great blessing, because then you’ve got so many damn options to weed out. So I think that I could have easily succeeded at the wrong thing. And, ultimately, it wouldn’t have been satisfying or fulfilling.
What appealed to me about being, for example, a Navy SEAL – or similarly elite soldier – was the balance required. These guys are the ultimate well-rounded people. They’re physically honed and mentally sharp. These guys are like Olympic athletes crossed with professors. Very intelligent. That’s also what appealed to me about Bruce Lee – this guy was such a physical masterpiece, yet such a brilliant thinker as well. That balance appeals to me.
But there are other ways to apply this. And we all are unique, not made to be imitations or replicas of others, but inspired originals and pioneers, provided we have the balls and honesty to be ourselves.
This topic could probably never be exhausted, unless I keep writing and you run out of Red Bull.
I keep it simple: Expect to succeed, and expect to find your purpose, and it will happen. Just keep that positive attitude and events will conspire to bring it about. Some of those events might be failures, so don’t be surprised or dejected by them.
And, to you, Mr. Ross, I appreciate your wisdom and continuing inspiration. It only serves to reinforce my initial impression of you as an honest guy, which is why I gave the SDTS a shot. I wasn’t disappointed. I never really know what I’m lookin for, but when I find it I immediately recognize it. Character is readily apparent. Lot of sleaze bags out there.
