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What the Hell Happened to Real Men?
When I was young it was stand up for the girl, stand up for what is right, don’t back down from bullies and never hit a guy with glasses. Real men always did the right thing. They took care of their families and put food on the table.
We had role models like Mike Brady of the Brady Bunch, James Evans of Goodtimes, Steve Douglas of My Three Sons and good old Ward Cleaver of Leave it to Beaver. On the big screen there was Stallone, Eastwood, Lee Marvin, Robert Mitchum, and of course the Duke “John Wayne”. They represented the man of the time:
they worked, they fought, they were faithful and honorable. They took responsibility and had accountability.The dads I knew went to work and loved mom. He dispensed kindness and discipline with the wisdom of Solomon. He showed you how to take responsibility, treat a woman with respect, showed compassion and kindness and was willing to fight for his beliefs.
Unfortunately, somewhere along the line those ideals became outdated and antiquated to caveman proportions. Men have been force fed their feminine side. Ideals have have been replaced with “reality”. “Reality” is code for shifting focus from the good to the bad. Let’s face it, you watch reality shows for the train wrecks, not the triumphs.
“Reality” has become the new truth and it’s perverted. Our effort to show this new “truth” men has destroyed the image of REAL MEN. We are taught that real men are narrow-minded Neanderthals incapable of being humane. They are 2 dimension throwbacks that objectify women and are prone to violence.
Real men have been taught that all violence is bad. That violence doesn’t solve anything. Well, it may not solve anything, but it sure stops a lot of shit. Violence is a SOLUTION, not an ANSWER.
Real men have been forced into social sensitivity training. We have been told it’s OK to cry. Listen, real men only cry at funerals, Old Yeller and when they retire from professional sports. They can shed an occasional tear, but no more than two.
In the media men are unfaithful, cheat are deadbeat and nonexistent. They have been portrayed as buffoons an inept providers. Cliff Huckstable has been replaced by Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin. The new series Modern Family portrays the DADS like this: One is like an impetuous child, another is an antiquated tough guy with the proverbial wife who is 25 years younger and finally the homosexual couple who have my gay friends saying “they’re a little over the top.” Hell, even Spider-man and Superman developed “issues”.
If left to use the mass media example of a what a real man is, my son will have 3 kids with 3 different mothers, no job and be living in my basement for the next 30 years eating nothing but peanut butter and crackers, smoking pot and playing Gears of War 15.
My daughter will learn to accept any substandard behavior because her expectations will be lowered to the point of ZERO. She will be mistreated and abused while moving from one failed relationship to another. Doesn’t it bother anybody that the rate of divorce is 50%.
We have been told that marriage is unnatural and outdated. That animals are not monogamous, so how can you expect humans to be? Really, have we put our intellect on the level of the rest of the animal kingdom? People cheat and there’s a high rate of divorce because the men you created are little whining maggots too concerned with their fulfillment. You have made them so sensitive that they question EVERY ASPECT OF THEIR LIVES. They are insecure, congratulations on your new inner child!
Listen, there are some people who shouldn’t be together. But growing apart is….BULLSHIT!!! How can you grow apart when you live together. What happens is you get too distracted by your own world and FORGOT what you promised each other….how the hell did I wind up here?
Back on track.
The media will not help you. Time to turn off the TV and teach our kids to hold themselves to a higher standard. To be accountable and assume responsibility.
So far I have created a list of rules I am going to instill in my kids. The list is a work in progress but here goes.
For starters my son will:
1. Hold the door open for a woman
2. Pick up the check
3. Know how to protect himself
4. Stand up for what he thinks is right
5. Know that NO means NO.
6. To treat women with respect and kindness
7. To own his mistakes
8. To never kiss on the first date
9. To help the little guy in trouble
10.To play hard and by the rules
11. To know that steroids are not an acceptable performance enhancer
12. To be honest and loyal to his friends and family until given sufficient reason otherwise.
13. Never send a digital image of any body part, whatsoever.
14. Always be politeMy daughter will:
1. Never wait for a boy
2. Never do anything just because it’s time or for the sake of doing it
3. Know how to protect herself
4. Know how she should be treated
5. To never pick up a check
6. To be honest and loyal to friends and family until given sufficient reason otherwise
Stand up for what he thinks is right
7. Know that NO means NO.
8. To treat men with respect and honesty
9. To own his mistakes
10. To never kiss on the first date
11. To help the little guy in trouble
12.To play hard and by the rules
13. Never send a digital image of any body part, whatsoever
14. Always be politeThe bar for behavior has been set so low that I don’t think it even exists. Other than murder and rape, most everything is fair game. Like LtCol Slade in Scent of a Woman said “Grow up! [Today]It’s fuck your buddy, cheat on your wife, call your mother on Mother’s Day!”
Well not on my watch. I will not accept the “anything is good enough standard” that is set. I will not let myself or my family settle. We will strive to be a better son, daughter, friend, sister, brother and coworker. They will expect more of themselves and not at the expense of losing themselves. They will understand the virtues of a REAL MAN.
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What happen to all the real men?
I grew up reading Sgt. Rock, Captain America, and Batman. Being heroic and a patriot were the norm. You flew the flag, you voted, and you behaved as a responsible citizen. Any other way of behaving was unacceptable, and you didn’t get to act out just because.
The veterans in the family never pushed their career choice on anyone, and when it came to heroics in war time, well everyone around them were heroes not them. Whether you fought in WWII or Vietnam you were treated with respect.
I remember my dad who despite having a hectic career that took him out of the country made time for the sports for all three kids, and never missed a birthday. To quote the Godfather, “you can’t be a real man unless you spend time with your family.”
Hard work was the norm and drinking a lot never impressed anyone. Athletics and academics were to do that. You took responsibility for your life and while asking for help was fine it wasn’t a license to behave recklessly because someone would bail you out. Tools, vehicles, and weapons were all handled with responsibility, and were treated as a privilege.
We never got taught tolerance for the gay life style or African American culture, because were told to be respectful to everybody regardless of their background. People were different, so what? A person’s character always out weighed their personal wealth when it came to measuring up a person.
I look at shows like Friends and Seinfeld and see a collection of losers. Every challenge is met with disdain before they run away. Hard work is foreign concept, and none of them can manage to act like adults. What do you want from Hollywood though it is the land of phony tough guys and out of touch celebrities. I still wonder why so much time is spent focused on a group of people who can’t stay sober, refrain from breaking the law, and keep getting married over and over again. They’re entertainers not examples.
This country is in rotten shape right now and while people argue about economic conditions, politics, and other factors few point to the family. Now there are all kinds of families out there, but if people aren’t learning values things aren’t working.
People are so worried about others feeling they’re afraid to stop people from breaking the law or destroying their lives. Parents would go into their kid’s rooms to look for things they shouldn’t have, and everyone had a set of rules and anything less was considered irresponsible.
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I agree with you both. This country is so upside down right now. In the last 40 years we’ve gone from Mayberry to reality shows where families are totally disfunctional. It is so in your face that kids can think that’s the norm. We turned off our TV for several months (Kids got in trouble and that was the punishment). We had a real good time with that crap off. We were able to talk and get things done. Funny, the kids actually got in trouble because they were watching reality shows when we told them not to.
I have pretty much the same rules for my kids. They are turning out quite well I think. My 14 year old wonders why she can’t have a phone like her friends … She doesn’t need one. I don’t care how people raise there kids, I am raising mine like my parents raised me. That can be painful at times, but the results are pretty good in the end.
On the country side, I am afraid for this country. I am not sure how this mess will be turned around with the people in charge of putting things on TV putting the crap and news on that they do. We are in some trying times and they may get worse before they get better.
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It’s places like this and people like us.
Places like this and people like us who re the real backbone of this culture and country. Sometimes we get lost. It happens every 12 to 16 years.
It’s funny you mention that about TV. We have just turned it off. It just happened. We were watching a lot of it, it was on during meal times and the kids would argue over what channel to watch.
From that point forward we just shut it off period. We are a world better for it. They get ready for school faster, they pay attention to directions better. They’re not distracted.
It’s a tough road to stick to your values, but nothing worth anything is easy.
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The responsibility for being a man begins and ends with the man. Even though the prevailing winds have been a Liberal effeminatization – or Oprahficiation, if you will – of America, that is no excuse.
A man has principles which he stands for even if he stands alone. A man of honor serves a higher authority than himself, and by honoring this authority he is qualified to command honor and exercise authority himself.
The problem with men is that they’ve allowed society and government to talk them out of being men. This is what I believe Rush Limbaugh refers to as the “new castrati.”
You cannot be a man without serving higher ideals. These are ideals for which you are willing to sacrifice to the point of death if necessary. A man takes responsibility for himself and his wards. A man is a saviour.
We live in a victim society. Everyone is a victim, and it’s always someone else’s fault. This feels good, but it’s bullshit. No one owes you anything. So quit voting for pretentious assholes who commit larceny in the name of “social justice.”
In our emasculated society, the intellectual effete elites would have us believe that being a man is archaic and neanderthal. We all need to feel more, and get in touch with our feelings.
However, a man is one who chooses principle over feeling. Who gives a shit how you feel? Right or wrong is the only issue.
Being a man is simple.
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