THINGS A BURGLAR WON’T TELL YOU…

[Anonymous]

(Submitted by LtCol Darren Poesel)

1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

5. If it snows while you’re out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don’t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it’s set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom-and your jewelry. It’s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It’s raining, you’re fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door-understandable. But understand this: I don’t take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won’t look in your sock drawer? I go right for the dining room and the master bedroom. I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here’s a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids’ rooms.

12. You’re right: I won’t have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it’s not bolted down, I’ll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you’re reluctant to leave your TV on while you’re out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at faketv.com.)

8 MORE THINGS A BURGLAR WON’T TELL YOU:

1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

3. I’ll kick in a door or break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he was doing. It’s human nature.

4. I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

5. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It’s easier than you think to look up your address.

7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.

8. If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Sources:

Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and Kentucky; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs crimedoctor.com; and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.

[Damian (Instructor)]

To me, burglars are just as low as crackheads, they deserve whatever they get. I’ll be sure to buy a couple K-9s along with a security system!

[Damian (Instructor)]

You can never tell. We had a couple of crews working the area over the last 10 years.

One was the James Bond Gang. They had cars with plates that flipped and dumped oil on the road.

The other was the Over the Hill Gang. Te youngest guy was like 60 years old.

Strictly burglary stuff, no home invasion. But when hey pinched the old guys we were like WTF? You expect crackhead you get bald head.

[Damian (Instructor)]

for some reason when I do the drop step elbow spike on my friend bob, I don’t feel like im generating enough power to stun or to make him clinch. I push myself off the ball of my foot, but still, I guess because the elbow is shorter and close to the body. But when I do a direct chinjab smash or web of hand blow, I drive his head into the wall! Any pointers?

[Damian (Instructor)]

It’s not really a strike, it’s more of a OH SHIT reaction to take his attack of course a bit so you can make up time to shift momentum in your favor.

If the spike makes him move his head or flinch, it did its job. Then you start blasting

When he’s lying in his own piss and blood on the floor you can then ask yourself, how the hell did he get so close in the first place?

[Damian (Instructor)]

Lol. Good one. Yeah. I didn’t think the spike was supposed to be all out vicious, though it’d cause ache&pain for a brief moment. Can the spike be a double blow too? Like dropstep/spike into the solar plexus, thrust up smash the chin!

[Damian (Instructor)]

Awesome list!

Once again, it’s the simple things you need to remember.

Bob

[Author]

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