Hate Mail 2020 – The Self Defense Company

Hate Mail 2020

Hate Mail 2020

You can’t please everyone and others…well you just plain piss off. So I would like to take this opportunity to share the love…ENJOY!!

“That’s Retarded”
I am sorry, this is unforgivable – 60 Minute Self Defense Program.
At 20:10 he says, “Even if he is putting his arm up, it does not matter you can keep hacking his arm” That’s retarded. It will hurt your hand if you do it.  There’s a reason you hold your hands up in a fight…duh! I am afraid this man is an amateur pretending to be pro.
May I have my refund please, as promised in the FB ad promotion?
Sandeep Shetty
Maharashtra, Indiashettyshetty@gmail.com

Thanks for the feedback! I responded to you on the Training Platform but I didn’t hear from you, so I’ll post it here.

I think we both agree that people put their hands up when they get hit in the face and yes this means you might hit their elbows, forearms and skull. And this is EXACTLY why we use the edge of hand, hammer fist and heel of hand as part of our Core Combat Techniques. 

We anticipate this reality.

But putting your hands up doesn’t guarantee your safety. In fact against a good street fighter (which is all we care about)  – if they get the first shot, you’re done like dinner. Putting your hands up only briefly prolongs the inevitable.

But “putting your hands up” is the martial arts mantra that is yelled at every white belt in sparring. You only really do this when you’re closing the distance on your opponent. But once you start throwing…you have to take your hand away from your head to attack. 

There are only two people in a street fight the one attacking and the one being attacked. And once that’s decided – the roles RARELY change.

I also have another SECRET for you…if a guy puts his hands up…IT’S NOT A MAGIC FORCE FIELD. You will be able to hack through it to get to the golden target areas.

You’re also taking this out of context – in addition to the relentless attack you’re using the FORWARD DRIVE. Constantly taking ground and keeping him off balance. The combination of relentless attack and the forward drive is what gives you the highest success rate in this situation. 

Now I will agree, that you can injure your hand on an elbow, forearm or skull –  any time there’s a fight you run the risk of injury – but this is about about minimizing your risk and that fleshy part of the hand is extremely tough.

You should also note that even if you do break your small metacarpal or any of the other bones of the small finger,  you can still hold a weapon and  strike effectively (I doubt you will actually feel it until after the fight anyway – but pain tolerances vary).

But wait, there’s more…

It’s also about what happens when your SNS is activated. You will only be able to do a few simple techniques. It’s like turning on a BUZZ SAW. Simple, brutal – relentless – SINGLE MINDED.

There’s NO finesse just GO. And you must train to operate in those parameters. When he puts his hands up – YOU OWN HIM –  hack through, MOVE AN ARM (you missed that point) and continue to HACK AND ATTACK!!!

Practice it…and you’ll see what I mean.

There’s a reason the edge of hand is a UNIVERSAL technique that is literally in every fighting art from Chinese Long Fist to Pancrase…it works without gloves or protection (and people put their hands up way back then too).

Thanks for the kind words. I realize some people just don’t get it.

BTW you’re the first person in over 3 years that has requested a refund on 60 Minute Self Defense – and you got it.



Default avatar profile icon. Grey photo placeholder, illustrations vectors

“You even carry the first name of the devil , crawl back into your hole!”

Lecrima Nevelke

Technically you should probably blame my mom for that name…and you realize that was a movie, right?

But you’re spot on about the whole devil thing …

Son of Satan


Murder is a crime of hate, passion or greed. Killing is a matter of self defense and protection. While I understand the reasoning behind calling it “fire power” I think is a disservice that could possibly sugar coat reality to a point many people might not consider all the nuances resulting in an inability to funcrion before, during and after an incident.

Shani Andreakis

Who said anything about MURDER?

The program is “The Science of Killing” and that’s what it is. We train in firearms and close combat and people can get killed. It’s not we take lightly, however — we’re not going to pretend it does’t happen. And the more people come to grips with the fact that in defending themselves, their loved ones or doing their jobs they might kill somebody – the better the chance of their psychological recovery.

Let’s be adults, call it what it is and come to grips with what is really at risk.

This is why you don’t take user of force lightly – I realize you know this already, but we can’t CANDY COAT IT in training.

People get hurt, people get killed – again, something you already know.

Train Honestly,



This message is completely out of the hand. What are you trying trying to manipulate my mind?
I’m not that person so stop saying stupid thing.
Otherwise, I’ll get you. Lots of trouble Thanks.

Pelepesite Tupe

Mind manipulation…I wish I could!!!

Seriously, your message is freaking me out. It was just an email…please don’t get me.

Now go buy my programs…(see what I did there)


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Published by Damian (Instructor)

Founder, The Self Defense Company

Join the Conversation


  1. Wow! Those people really don’t seem to get what you’re teaching. Personally, when my opponent puts their hands up, I prefer to kick the crap out of them below the belt. Dirty move? You bet! Love your stuff Damian!

  2. These people, me too by the way, have no real idea what an actual fight for your life is! I have never had to defend myself, my loved ones either. For these dipshits to say those things leans to there vocabulary, mine too, and their inability to comprehend what it is you are trying to do, nothing! You do however, offer run of the mill folks a way to have a chance in a fight for survival. I also agree with you when you said, “you probably will not feel it, the pain from broken metacarpals, until the fight is over or even the next day. Damian, son of Satan lol!, I cannot afford the program now but really want to take it in the near future. Please let me know how to practice without a partner?
    Yours in “defense practices to save lives, not take them!”

  3. Hey brother, it is your style, and I am studying it. I think the Cestari system is probably the best demonstration of Tiger Claw I have ever seen. Most Senseis will teach narrow stance techniques to people who want to learn defense. You are right. By the time you reach that point the odds are against you and you will need some high level of ability or advantage to succeed. 100% you have to know how to take the fight to the enemy before you ever need to lean any tricky dicky defenses. Many people don’t understand. They are just looking for a magic pill. Thanks ??

    1. Thanks – but to say it’s “my style” (and I get what you’re saying) seems weird to me since Carl, Charlie Nelson, Yonezuka…even my Football and Wrestling Coaches…all the way back to Fairbairn and O’Neill did the hard work. I just put it together…

      I’m going to go on a tangent, here but the REAL reason I developed the SDTS was purely selfish. It was for my own personal training. This can get long, so I apologize.

      I met Carl in 1989 after…well it was a good time to meet him. My buddy on Bergen County SWAT told me about a guy who was training cops in the basement of a church. I went and it blew my mind. Trained with him on and off for a few years – the combatives was real simple (as you know) it made sense and didn’t take long to learn.

      In 1992 Carl was teaching at my brother’s TKD school and me a few guys were training with Carl as well. He and my brother had a falling out and it wasn’t until 5 years later that I reconnected with Carl and I was shocked at what I discovered.

      When I last saw Carl he was a bull – 215 pounds…a brick. Now I see him and he’s 145 pounds. Diabetes and a whole host of other issues had caused his health to go to hell. He later died in 2007.

      So here I am, looking at the GREATEST self defense resource on the planet – sitting and, well…posting on the internet. His health was just not good and I wanted to learn as much as possible for my own training purposes. I didn’t have a master plan to launch a company and do all this.

      I just wanted to replicated my training based on his experience. That’s when I started Judo, and Carl and I created the syllabus that evolved into the SDTS.

  4. To think at one time I kinda sorta felt the same way…… Just saying….. I am so proud to have changed my perspective. Research, investigate and ask the simple question, what is the essence of self defense and ya just can’t question the likes of Carl Cestari, William Fairbairn, Charles Nelson and yes, Damian Ross! Kudos on taking the hit to get the point across! ???sheepdog

    1. Agreed Bam, we all thought like that – but then we reflected on our life experience and common sense to come to the conclusion that what we’ve been taught…well…was like the game of telephone. At one time it was something and now it’s something different entirely.

  5. Makes you wonder how big the rock these people are living under and I live in a country that has some of the strictest self-defence laws in the English-speaking world. Anyway, I’m off to practice my mind control skills. Stay safe everyone.


  7. Damian,
    I’ve been too busy and distracted to really get into what I have purchased from you, but I do at least get what you’re trying to teach and say, and my attitude is I’m inclined to think these people either simply don’t pay attention to facts. They just go around with their minds in neutral assuming it functions, and their senses dormant or they are simply a special kind of stupid. Thankfully I have had only a small number of violent encounters because of a dangerous sibling and people of a certain peaceful, loving and tolerant ideology, and thankfully I’m still in one working piece, but I get what you are trying to do even if I haven’t digested all the details, and I applaud you for your handling of these twits who seem to prefer to interact through their emotions rather than their brain and senses. Respect to you Damian! It makes me even more keen to get into what I paid you for.

    1. Hi Ian,

      Well I’m glad you made it here…and look, just get in and watch something from time to time, even for a few minutes is actually the best way to learn. Small pieces. Then when you have some time, practice the physical techniques.
      …to your point – self defense, martial arts is like religion. People invest a lot of money time and energy – they develop relationships with fellow students and instructors, which can be incredible. I’ve had instructors and coaches that I’ve loved and believed everything they said as gospel because my life depended on it.

      So in order to step back and evaluate the content of what you’re learning from people who you love and respect…it’s a hell of a thing.

      Before I started with Carl…I thought that way too.

  8. Hi all,
    Haven’t been doing this long, and the insight is nothing short of amazing, they way you systematically break everything down into base elements for clarity is awesome. All I have to say in response to these people is they DONT obviously live in the real world and have an abject lack of understanding about what you are teaching. Keep it real.


    1. Thanks Ken! Look – as Bam just mentioned, there was a time I thought like Sandeep…but then I realized, based on my real life experiences (and literally getting my ass lumped up by a group of guys) that there had to be a better way.

  9. Hello again Damian,
    Another keyboard warrior………please keep up all your great work on this forum Damian
    Best regards,
    Steve (Italy)

  10. Damian, as I mentioned in another email to you I have studied many forms of self defense and Martial Arts like you have. At age 56 I would find it very hard to preform some or most of the techniques I learned over the years. I have used things I learned in Kenpo Karate that ai got my BB in in street fights years ago and they did work very well. But as you have stated most Martial Arts are drilled into you as “defense only” so back in the day when people didn’t KILL YOU during a dust up over a girl or something stupid I found myself waiting for the attack so I could defend myself. That usually lead to me getting smacked in the face and having to fight back half dazed. Now fighting is WAY different now you have no idea WHEN the knife or gun is coming out. You MUST ACT first and in most cases you are going to get hurt. But better to be hurt than dead. These people that attack you have NO IDEA what the real world is unfortunately when they find out it will be too late to help them. Keep up the good work.

  11. Hi Damian, I was a pPolice Officer for over 26 years mostly in London,England, I have since worked in security as a Door Supervisor (Bouncer) and as a Bodyguard, I have worked as a trainer in the industry and am an unusual thing in the world of self defence in that I am a qualified Self Defence Instructor, not a martial artist. I have trained in many Martial Arts and Self defence systems and have been following you for a number of years and purchased a number of your courses. They are to put it succinctly “The real deal” when you are involved in a violent confrontation you need to be the one doing the violence, you need to be doing it simply, effectively and repetitively till you achieve your aim of debilitating the other guy so effectively that he is no longer a threat, is non functional and subdued, dead, or you can escape. I regularly recommend yours and Tim Larkin’s courses to people who operate in the real world dealing with the underbelly of society. Thank you for your endeavors, God’s Blessings to you and yours and all who follow you and Train Honestly.

  12. First of all I am a self defense instructor as well, and if people think you are a murder, retarded, or what ever those idiots said they need to check their selves. Obviously they live in high security areas with silver spoons. For normal people who live in the day to day world. You have to be careful. I totally support you and say your teaching and demonstration are crucial to every day survival! Keep on keeping on brother!

  13. What people don’t realize is YOU DON’T KNOW WHO IS WATCHING YOU. People see you and what you do, where you go. Home, supermarket, mall, work, gym, park, etc. You don’t know who is watching or why they are watching. Could be bad guys, neighbors, homeless, etc. We have to be prepared, even in “good” neighborhoods. Bad guys will make sure they have every advantage.
    When I am in an unfamiliar city, it is bad if you see someone more than twice. Take note.
    When walking, hold your head up, look at the people, don’t only look at the ground.
    Walk purposefully. You have to go somewhere. You have things to do.
    When walking and two or more men split up to walk around you. Take note.
    If you see a bad guy watching you, make sure he sees you see him. Look at him for a second at least. I usually nod my head slightly or blink, or raise your eyebrows in acknowledgement. This can prevent trouble. He is looking for someone looking at their phone, looking at the store windows, or tall buildings, not paying attention.

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