Clueless – The Self Defense Company



Not Gerald M.

We received this email from Gerald M. requesting a refund after he completed the AWARE Course of the 60 Minute Self Defense Training Pack.

I found that I didn’t like defensive mentality it was creating for me. I didn’t like the change in perception that I what’s beginning to experience. Always scanning always on guard always ready. Not necessary for me. I didn’t like the feeling. Thanks look forward to hearing from you.” – Cheers Gerald M.


First, I get it (no I really do) for regular people to take a SERIOUS look at the world around them and realize how vulnerable they are…it’s a RUDE awakening. Minding your personal space, looking for potential places of ambush, reading body language and being in tune with your environment is something MOST PEOPLE just don’t want to think about. I get it. It’s not a “good feeling.”

This is why there will always be many more sheep than sheep dogs and there will always be sheep for the wolves.

The AWARE course is like taking the RED PILL from The Matrix.

It opens your eyes. It forces you to see the reality around you and seriously question your safety while moving in public. Driving, walking in crowds, negotiating parking lots, every day carry tools. I get it, it’s a lot to think about when you’re going to a concert in the park.

The way I see it is you have two choices –

  1. Take the Red Pill – get “woke” in terms of self defense and pay attention and see the world for what it really is.
  2. Take the Blue Pill – remain clueless, and go about your life and ignore your real vulnerability and  HOPE that nothing happens.

Gerald “thinks” self defense begins at the attack – but people in the Self Defense Training System know that attacks just “don’t come out of nowhere”. They’re ALL planned during the SIZE UP and if you’re paying attention to your environment you will miss the opportunity to avoid and escape.

Waiting for the actual physical attack puts you at an EXTREME disadvantage – and walking around clueless allows the enemy to prepare and plan. By the time you’re actually assaulted your enemy has already picked the time, the place and the method to give him the GREATEST chance of success…and if you’re an average person…you’re going to lose.

The truth is, after that initial feeling of anxiety when you realize how vulnerable you are – the next feelings you should experience are CONFIDENCE and CONTROL. Control over your ability to spot potential threats in your environment and the confidence to execute a simple plan for your survival.

When you’re paying attention you can see it coming and if you can’t avoid it…you can prepare and plan in those few seconds and that is the difference between winning and losing. That’s the difference between living and dying.

Train Honestly,


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Published by Damian (Instructor)

Founder, The Self Defense Company

Join the Conversation


  1. When I was a bouncer I always scan the area which I enter and I still do. Like you said being attacked starts way before it happens and being aware is vital in self defense.

  2. I would share with Gerald that training is only partially for HIS saftey…what about if someone tried to assault a loved one he is with….what if he is in a public place and an innocent victum is being attacked ? His option is then to stand back and watch. I have only had to use my trianing once ( I am 70 ) and it was to stop a young person from assaulting an older person….. and it worked. That made the cost and time of training 100% worth it !

  3. Gerald,
    The concept behind self defense is to go home alive. The idea around awareness is not to become paranoid, but to become sensitive to your surroundings. Yes I share that it seems somewhat taxing that you seem to always be in a scanning mode and to be honest we should be because there is always someone will an ill intent out there but it may not be against just you. Here is the truth behind all of this; although it is termed self defense it makes you less selfish because your scan begins to expand to others around you. Then you suddenly realize that this training wasn’t just for me it was for all those in my circle of influence. As a 14 year military I was trained to defend and at the same time I knew my training was designed so that both I and my fellow soldiers made it home to fight another day. Self defense training is no different, but it ALL starts with awareness training. It’s foundational.

  4. Damian,

    Normally, I wouldn’t even respond. But, I see too many good men with Gerald’s naive paradigm (a self-endangering, family-endangering, and community-endangering paradigm).

    Many years in military and civilian activities across the globe taught me – no matter how prepared, no guarantees exist. This, because upon awareness that you’re trying to stop them from taking something from you (you’re lucky if that’s all they want), the ilk whom won’t run WILL do ALL they can to get whatever they want while trying to prevent you from stopping them. Time tested and proven. So, let that sink in a bit.

    If you want to stack the odds in your favor:
    1) maintain the best situational awareness you can in ANY given circumstances
    2) rehearse mentally (your options)
    3) ALWAYS consider ANY potential adversary already knows your most likely next more (assume this the moment they make themselves known. So, if you must act visibly, then act swiftly … or if slow provides the best advantage for your purpose, then act as invisibly as possible … you can bet your adversary will act that way)
    4) in many circumstances, fight ONLY if you can’t evade … and, if you must fight, then fight to end the fight decisively, so an adversary stops fighting

    Gerald clings to a naive and self-endangering paradigm (and if it transmits to any family, then he endangers them too).

    I stand 6 and a half feet tall with proven far greater strength, faster reflexes, athleticism, and endurance than most I’ve met anywhere. But, experience taught me, that even though I have defeated multiple opponents at once, it’s NEVER even close to easy in real life street scenarios. And, 2-on-1 fairly equally-matched opponents rarely ends well for anyone (even when you win).

    Maybe sharing this mild experience will help those in an unprepared mindset.

    Once, a violent thief told me that they went to a certain very safe and decent area to rob houses (an area where I lived), because people never expected it. But, he caveated with, he trained to fight, just in case he awakened a man like me and needed to fight his way out.

    That shows intent to target even prepared households (in Las Vegas, no less … previously, a very decent city).

    Knowing this, why would you refuse to prepare as much as possible? … at a minimum mentally prepare.

    I’ve lived all over the world … and, while paranoid behavior rarely is justified, reality involves no holds barred thieves, murderers, rapists, extortionists, and like ilk, whom actually in their twisted minds think it’s “cool” to target naive people like Gerald (making them look strong to their associates) to take what they can from anyone unprepared to fight back. And, the most malicious ones even prepare to try to take from the strong if they think they found an opportunity.

    I submit that Gerald experienced cognitive dissonance between awakening to reality that EVERYONE is at risk from multiple attacker scenarios (even in good areas, due to ease of ilk’s travel to good areas, then flee).

    Likely, reality felt exhausting to Gerald. But, only mental conditioning (creating a habit) of an increased situational awareness will make it subconscious, so he exerts less conscious effort to scan a scene briefly and res can every so often (even airline pilots scan the skies CONSTANTLY to look for and remain aware of potential dangers). And, even experienced men like me are vulnerable against multiple attackers… perhaps more aware of this due to experience.

    Likely, Gerald is a good man … passive and sweet, … but, unless he maintained situational awareness to stay aware of and avoid dangers when possible… and when given no choice but to fight (or let others harm you or those around you) willing to use ANY means necessary to protect loved ones (and even strangers which clearly are innocent), then NEVER would I allow my sisters, daughters, or any female relative (or child male relative) to spend time with a man like that, unwilling (or cognitively unable) to cope with the discomforts of reality.

    Unfortunately, Gerald’s mindset simply adds to the work of men like us – the few men both willing and prepared to defend mental-sheep like him that don’t like the discomforts of reality.

    It’s pretty simple, really:
    1) If situational awareness and using your mind give you a benefit by and to avoid confrontation, then avoid confrontation.
    2) If faced with unavoidable confrontation, and able to deter, then deter.
    3) If unable to deter, then fight to end the fight decisively.

    Perhaps, my words will awaken and save at least a few more good men and women to become and remain more prepared… possibl, even save lives.

    Matthew S

  5. Poor excuse for wanting a refund he’s probably one of those people that go into a restaurant eat half their meal and complain about it and want their money back or get offered another meal then end up taking it home in a doggy bag

  6. Situational awareness is a must for any valid self defense philosophy. Observe, assess, respond.

  7. When I was young …very young–we moved to the City from the northern forested parts of the province. There was a Beaver dam short distance away . Most days I would watch the family work away. A ;oud slap on the water would send them scurrying. Never saw or heard the adults before them. The City taught me to be aware of environmental threats because I became a beaver growing up in Housing Projects. It was a case of seeing the maneuvers and positioning before the confrontation. Now it is a automatic subconscious reflex. Your program helped immensely to clarify the preconditions of vulnerability.

  8. What Gerald likes is honesty and courage. He knows but prefers not to know. This is the truth of most people. We all know evil exists. We see it all around us. The losers ask why God lets it happen, but I ask why Gerald lets it happen. A billion Geralds permit evil to flourish and, in fact, to rule us. A billion dishonest cowards.

    You’ve got to be brutally honest. Starting with yourself. Awareness is above all SELF AWARENESS. You can only be tough if you can admit you’re a coward. There’s always moments of personal cowardice and moral compromise. Sun Tsu said if you don’t know yourself or your enemy, you’re fucked. If you know your enemy but not yourself, it’s a coin flip. But I’d add that if you truly know yourself then you will also know your enemy. Because they will be the opposite.

    A lot of good comedians talk about how their comedy comes from pain. That pain comes from awareness. Comedians notice more than the average person and their comedy comes from drawing our attention to the obvious which we fail to observe.

    There’s a proverb: “With knowledge comes sorrow.” So true. Years ago when I finally came to grips with the degree to which the government and ruling bodies of the world truly are run by the most depraved and evil amongst us, it was tough to handle at first. Cuz I used to be one of the idiotic “Conservative” types inside of a political box. Now I’m not so naive.

    But same concept. Truth is not usually easy to handle because your identity is made out of a set of beliefs, most of which HAVE to be false. If many were not false then you would literally have transcended mortal limitation. So now I operate with the mindset that my beliefs are false until proven true, and this makes it easy to accept new and startling ideas. Not to accept them as true, but to accept the POSSIBILITY that they’re true. Huge difference. Most people just absorb whatever their favorite cult leader or influencer tells them.

    So, for example, I have the mantra that all information is false until proven true. So all politicians and news stories are bullshit until I have personally verified them. If you actually try to do this you’ll find that most stuff is impossible to verify and actually in most cases you’ll find the weight of the circumstantial evidence against whatever is being said by these clowns. In many cases, you can actually disprove one narrative of theirs with ANOTHER narrative, because they can never keep their lies straight, coherent, or unified.

    Awareness is a state of mind; it’s a LOVE OF TRUTH. It extends to every area of your life. Not just self defense. You can’t talk to Gerald because Gerald is dishonest, and Gerald is a coward. I don’t say that to be insulting, but I say it to be honest. There is absolutely NO ONE who is not aware that evil exists and is running loose down here. But most people are scared shitless to admit it, just like they’re scared shitless to think that the government does not exist to lovingly wipe their asses, but for simple and pure animalistic control.

    Evil MUST seek control because evil is unnatural. It’s holding a beach ball underwater. If you’re good you just release the beachball of faith and love and it’s totally effortless and peaceful. But if you’re an evil cocksucker, you MUST hold that ball underwater as tightly and maniacally as possible, with as many chains as you can attach to it, because it naturally wants to rise. And it can rise with NO effort.

    So, with awareness of evil should also come awareness of good, and of God. I like to say that “Right makes Might.” In military terms, the high ground is preferable in a battle. This is true psychologically and spiritually. If you’re in the right, then you should EXPECT to destroy the evil against you. You are the beach ball rising from out of the water. You have a natural power within your faith that is not physical and is not equaled by evil. Evil’s only asset is FEAR. But they use fear because they themselves are ruled by fear. Because fear is a function of guilt. And when you have a lot of guilt then your fear will be great. And when your fear is great then you live in the terror of imminent destruction.

    “The wicked flee when none pursue.” So that being the case, imagine then actually pursuing.. Deep down, evil expects to be destroyed. “Those who hate God love death.” So, basically, why fear someone who is destined for destruction?

    Psychological warfare is the highest form of warfare. It’s also the same as spiritual warfare. And psychological warfare is very simple: Truth versus lies. When you believe lies, those lies are anchors for fears, and you will be weakened by these lies and fears. If you’re not evil, then evil’s ONLY hope against you is to fill you with lies and fears which paralyze your will to fight.

    But, if you’re evil, then I have a fucking buffet of options. And I like to let people know in advance that they have it coming and why they have it coming. Because deep down they will ALWAYS know their guilt, and their guilt will send a chill of the reaper thru them in expectation of severe punishment. Which is how guilt and fear work. There is NO fear without guilt. Period. Remember that.

    If you’re afraid, it’s because you feel guilty. So be honest and ask yourself why. But good people tend to obsess more with their guilt than evil people. Then evil people are able to exploit the hesitation and self doubt of the good people, when they themselves live in real terror of imminent Karma.

    Karma is the greatest psychological weapon. Never go ego vs ego with evil. Now you’re just on their level and it’s a crap shoot like Sun Tzu said. ALWAYS go Karma vs ego. In other words, I’m on the side of good, and you’re on the side of evil, therefore it’s my DESTINY to destroy you because karma NEVER LOSES!

    You always hear the nonsensical statement that “Good guys finish last.” This is horseshit. “Good guys” are always equated with cowards who just take shit all the time without standing up for what is true and right. THAT AIN’T A GOOD GUY! That’s a weak sack of shit. Even Jesus said that He’d rather you be hot or cold (totally good or totally evil) but his highest contempt was for…could you say “the moderates”?

    All the way crooks rule half way crooks. Most people are half way crooks, who live their lives weak and partially compromised morally. This is Gerald. He feels weak and morally compromised in some manner and, thus, no amount of skill and training in self defense will ever give him the power to overcome his internal guilt and weakness.

    Hate IS love. The more passionate your love, the more vicious your hate. My temper has actually gotten exponentially worse over the years, as I mature. BUT it has gotten equally more disciplined and focused. Which is the true definition of meekness by the way. And THAT’S why the meek inherit the earth – because the meek are the baddest motherfuckers to have ever walked it. But their defined by their DISCIPLINE. Great power requires great discipline.

    So, to summarize this lengthy comment: Gerald’s issue is not being aware of evil. Gerald’s issue is being AFRAID of evil. Because he is dishonest and he is a coward. That MUST be true – I’m not just saying that to insult the guy. There’s a billion Geralds. That’s why the earth is ruled by degenerate fucks who far surpass in evil anyone likely to accost you personally.

    And what’s the point in being aware of something you feel inferior to and powerless against? So you must balance the awareness of evil with the awareness of good. And of God. And understand that good MUST be more powerful than evil and that defeating evil is not even a question.

    If evil was more powerful than good, then there would be no good, because evil lives for control and would immediately eradicate all good. If ANY good exists then evil has no power. Like a single candle in a room of darkness.

    Good permits free will, which allows a choice between good and evil. Just as someone has the CHOICE to attack you or not on the street. THEIR choice! But if they choose wrong THEN they get destroyed. But you don’t walk around trying to control and intimidate everyone, like evil does.

    Unlike a candle in a dark room, over which the darkness has ZERO power, evil is like a dark closet in a house full of light. All you have to do is open the door.. Right now, earth IS that dark closet. And you’re in that closet. With your candle. Or maybe a fuckin flamethrower..

    Awareness is NOT the issue. Fear is the issue. Self awareness is above any other kind of awareness. The more honest I am with myself, the more naturally tuned in I am to the bullshit around me. Because awareness is a function of perception. And if your perception is wrong then even the greatest physical awareness ever will fail you.

    It’s important to understand your own weaknesses. There are areas in which we all PREFER to believe lies. Evil’s power lies in the exploitation of the lies you believe. Those are blind spots. It is IMPOSSIBLE to be aware of or to guard a blind spot. A blindspot must be removed.

    So awareness for me is more geometric than physical. Like, you can never be aware of a sniper, but you CAN be aware of the lines of SIGHT of a sniper. Similarly, you can’t possibly see all bad guys but you CAN geometrically understand your position in the landscape around you. IF someone was to do something, there’s only so many routes of approach, and methods they could use. So thinking geometrically I find more useful than trying to see everything.

    You’ll never see everything. But what can you ALWAYS see? YOURSELF! This is true both psychologically and physically. If I’m walking through a dark alley, I KNOW where I am with respect to the alley. I can see myself and I can see the alley. I don’t need to see the bad guys to see where they would HAVE to come from. I can also see ways of escape if need be.

    It’s like if you’re under decent surveillance there’s NO WAY to detect it. BUT, if you were under surveillance you have a general idea of where’d those guys would have to be. Especially if you’re mobil. I mean, there’s front, back, side to side, above, and possible below. This is thinking geometrically. Which is a helluva lot easier than being some paranoid fool with their head on a swivel all the time.

    I rarely look around too much. Cuz it’s pointless. It’s not that easy to look at a bad guy and know that’s a bad guy. I make it easier for myself. I look around once or twice to MAP the landscape. In my head I now have a geometric map of where any bad guys HAVE to come from. This includes moving vehicles. So if there’s van with tinted windows next to my vehicle, is it nefarious? Who knows. But I’m prepared if it’s not, and I geometrically plot the vectors if the doors where to open.

    This is no different than the SDC approach to self defense. You don’t think in terms of IF THIS THEN THAT. You think in terms of vectors and targets. You’re prepared to strike any target with any weapon. Whatever is open. Whatever is open is about geometry. You always think geometrically. Because the bad guys cannot change geometry. They can ONLY use geometry or deception or both. They can attack from concealment, or they can attack from plain sight using deception.

    So to summarize yet again – which I appear to suck at – awareness is first SELF AWARENESS. Are you afraid of evil? If so, why? You shouldn’t logically be afraid of evil. So, if you can’t deal with this first, then you’re fucked. AFTER this comes the mechanics of geometric awareness and self defense, etc, etc.

    But mindset is ALWAYS the most important thing. Fear is the ONLY tool evil can successfully use against you. And fear is a lie.

    Fear God instead. God does not smile upon cowards..

  9. Gerald,

    I spent over thirty years in law enforcement, some of those years with the gang unit. I am not going to do a lot talking and cajoling. I want to warn you of one thing. You can not un-see what you have seen on the tape. You can not un-hear what you have heard on the tape. Both will always be with you. If you do not finish, at least, the 60-minute training, you will not know what to do to if and when you see an attack beginning to form. One fellow above seemed to believe you would be one of the people that watch the attack and video the whole thing for YouTube. I hope he is mistaken. Learn all you can and be ready. L-5

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