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I was wondering how you guys feel about corporal punishment when it comes to kids and when it crosses the line from just a parent’s choice of discipline to abuse and when a person should step in and intervene if we see someone using physical force against a child in public? I’m from the South so I’ve been spanked, whipped, etc. handfulls of times by both parents and grandparents when I would push the limits of misbehavior as a child not just with the typical open hand but with various objects such as paddles, hair brush, belt, tree limb(known affectionately as a switch) you name it. But I know in doing that my caregivers meant the best for me and was their form of discipline for trying to mold me into a well mannered successful and productive child and develop good habits and behaviors that would serve me well in adulthood. And I believe it worked well for me and I definetly haven’t lost any respect for my parents because I feel like they and the rest of my family did the best they could to raise me into the adult I am today and give me as good a childhood as possible. But some studies also suggest that physical discipline of kids can do a lot of emotional and intellectual harm in the long term and possibly contribute to instilling the belief in a child that might makes right and will either cause them to be timid, withdrawn, shy, and submissive or overly aggressive, angry, confrontational, and possibly violent and when physical force is too excessive even causing physical harm and injury to the child. With the seeming increase of child abuse and infanticide incidents in the news lately it’s been something I’ve really been thinking about.
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As a parent, kids can drive you insane – there’s no doubt about it. I have spanked my kids, maybe 3 times in their collective 19 years of life – no more that one swat on the bottom and it still gets me upset thinking about it. .Just because reasoning with them is impossible. They didn’t have the mental capacity to understand reason but they do understand positive and negative reinforcement.
But part of parenting is understanding this fact, discovering what they enjoy and leveraging that to get them to behave – as long as they make the connection. Please note when I say “hit” I mean a swift little slap on the behind and noting more. The simple act of striking is the point – not the pain. To be honest, back them I’ve literally have had harder contact in rough play with my guys than the spank. It’s the moment and intent that does it. Now you would think I beat my kids daily by the way they react when I raise my voice.
That being said, more than one swift swat is time to step in. If you’re kid is emotionally stable (no ADD) then you should be able to handle them without a spank above the age of 5. If you can’t control your kid above the age of 5 you messed up somewhere.
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Nothing makes me madder and wanna go apeshit on somebody more than when a child is abused whether physically, sexually or however. If people don’t want kids and all of the hardships and strain on one’s patience and peace of mind that comes with parenthood then they either need to keep it in their pants, use birth control, get sterilized, or even get a damn abortion, or last but not least give your baby up for adoption into a family who likely cannot have a child of their own and would be more than happy to raise them and give them a good loving home. With all of the available options for people there is no excuse for keeping a child that you resent and putting it through abuse or neglect.
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