How to Get to that Dark Place – The Self Defense Company

How to Get to that Dark Place

How to Get to that Dark Place


All criminals are willing to take that first step and use violence to get what they want regardless of the physical and mental damage it causes you.

We’ve learned that fighting back actually decreases your chance of being injured and suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.

Unfortunately you’ve been brought up in a society that tells you just the opposite.

You’ve learned that:

  • All violence is bad.
  • Violence never solves anything.
  • Every problem can be solved with a conversation.

Between reasonable people, I don’t have a problem with these ideas but the people committing rape, assault and homicide are far from reasonable.

They’re damaged goods and trying to reason with them is not possible.

Remember you can’t reason with crazy!

I’ll agree, violence never “solved” anything…but it sure stopped a lot of shit.

There are times when you need to stop unreasonable people with violence.

Normal people, myself included (clears throat), aren’t comfortable with the idea of hurting another human being – Congratulations, you’re not a psychopath!

Nonetheless in order to protect yourself you’re going to have to get into a survival frame of mind. This requires you to leave the reasonable and do the unthinkable.

Surviving violence depends on your ability to “take that first step”. The sooner you take it, the greater your chances of survival. The biggest problem is that you’re unsure and unwilling to engage the enemy. Therefore you’ll wait until it’s too late and the damage will be done.

Look, this isn’t practicing some self defense moves with your friend or fighting in a competition where you hug your opponent after the match.

This is a knockdown, drag out, fight for your life, him or me, tear, bite, gouge, try to breathe, struggle for your life.

But don’t worry – every living creature on the planet has this self defense mechanism, from an elephant to an ant and you have it too, only yours has been suppressed by “civilization” and ant-violence rhetoric.

In order to get to your “happy place”  you will need to:

  1. Actually hit, stab, bludgeon and beat something with 100% power.
  2. Dehumanize your target.
  3. Envision fighting for your life or protecting others.

To do this you need something to hit, stab, etc that resembles a human being but is NOT one.

Next you need to take a few, simple techniques and practice them as hard and as fast as you can.

You need to FEEL it.

Feel the full force of your blows. Feel the pain of the contact – drive yourself harder, faster and longer. Imagine it’s someone trying to rape you or attack your children. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night to discover someone standing in your doorway.

Then FIGHT BACK – ATTACK until you have nothing left to give…and then give some more.

The more you can do this, the easier it will be to “flip the switch” and go into battle mode – remember it’s in you already – you just need to wake it up.

The pen is mightier than the sword…especially when you jam that pen in your attacker’s throat!!!

Train Honestly,







Damian Ross – Founder, The Self Defense Company

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Published by Damian (Instructor)

Founder, The Self Defense Company

Join the Conversation


  1. Can’t imagine me doing the things you said against a guy built like Brock Lesnar, lol. Anyways, you should become an English teacher since you’re articles are articulate and to the point. Happy late New Years Mr. Ross.

      1. OK, what if Brock Lesnar (scary dude indeed) was trying to force himself into your home to rape your wife or child?
        Would you lie down or would you pick up a weapon and dies with your boots on?!?!?

        1. Obviously I would defend myself. Don’t get me wrong Mr. Ross if anybody regardless of age, gender, or size comes threatens either me or my loved ones, I would do whatever means to protect myself and those in need. It’s a joke what I said in the previous comment with the lol. Sorry if what I wrote confused you.

  2. Hell yeah! Col Grossman talks about that same thing in his books referring to changing training tactics to get more soldiers to engage more often in combat. Having that “mental trigger” is so essential to survive in this world. Thank you for being so blunt and direct; we need it.

  3. Hi Damian,
    I had an experience where your teaching helped me.

    I am a 36 year old male, out of shape, with 2 children, a son 4 years old, and a daughter 2 years old.

    What happened:
    My wife had just left for work, and I was preparing to put the children in my car to take them to school.
    Suddenly a guy, high as a kite, comes down the road (a cul-de-sac), with a ‘ I am on a mission’ look on his face.
    I urgently tell my son ‘go back into the house’. However that only pauses him for a sec. In his 4years old mind he has on his shoes and his backpack, the routine is to go get in the car. The other problem is that my two year old daughter is following what ever he does.
    Now my children are potentially in trouble, especially as this stranger changes directions and comes straight towards us!

    What did I do:

    I remember your statement about distance, in this case there are two distances I am thinking about. The distance between me and this guy, and the distance my son has to walk before he ends up between us putting himself in danger.

    So I tell the guy if you step any closer I will kill you. As I do so I make up my mind that I will die here or end up in jail, but if he takes another step he will die no matter what.

    What happens next:

    He stops stares at me for a couple secs , then turns away and walks away without ever saying a word.

    I can only figure that he saw in my eyes that I meant every word.

    I said all of the above to show that I agree that some circumstances may warrant persons like me, a Christian, middle aged man who hardly raises his voice, two decide to drop civility. In this case protect my children.

    1. Louis,

      I’m sorry you had to deal with that, but you handled it extremely well. You should be as proud as you are relieved that nothing happened and you were able to protect them.

      Like we say in the first lessons – a criminal fears three things: being caught, being identified and being injured. Even in his state of mind he did a quick risk analysis and realized it wasn’t going to be worth it.

      One of the things I did with my kids when they were your age was to turn it into a game. I called it “scatter”. If I wanted them to get back into the house I would just say “SCATTER!” and they would run as fast as they could to a spot in the house…first one there wins.

      Now my kids are older…they don’t listen as well.

    2. Louis, I might also add…

      Life has a way of telling us what we need to here. Maybe that situation was telling you to start preparing a little more because you never know. A routine drop off could have been horrific.

      I hope you take this opportunity that life has given.

  4. I am a Senior Citizen of 66 years today. I’m also a Marine. When I was younger, a larger version of myself tried to force his way through a few friends of mine – drunk and angry. I quickly side stepped as he tried to barrel me over. I jumped up enough to land on his upper back; grabbed his coat at the back and quickly pulled it over his head and shoulders and stomped on it as my right knee came down on his mid back. I warned him that I may be old, but I was still a U.S. Marine! He gave up and my friends told him to leave before the police arrived and hauled him to jail. I have learned that there is still a “Devil Dog” deep down inside of me, ready to fight, regardless of the age or physical shape. With a midriff hernia from multiple heart surgery, and now a heart transplant recipient of ten years, I really have to be on the defensive. Any suggestions for protecting the solar plexus area?

    1. Ron,

      Great story and it illustrates two perspectives on a fight – the young buck throwing his weight around vs. the more mature buck willing to go the distance. I’m sure that kid left with a better appreciation for others around him.

      As for your mid section…check Module 6 of SDTS Combatives Body Conditioning (defensive) start of SLOWLY. In addition to that, all core body training will help toughen it up. While we do this specifically in Module 7 Physical Conditioning, all of the training will help.

  5. FOR EVERY ACTION THERE IS A REACTION. What does this mean? This means that for ever force there is a reaction force that is equal in size, but opposite in direction. That is to say that whenever an object pushes another object it gets pushed in the opposite direction equally hard.SO my recommendations is to change direction of pushing. For the simple reason a swing goes round and round.

    1. For every action there is definitely a reaction…and if all goes well, it’s him hitting the floor :).

      “This means that for ever force there is a reaction force that is equal in size, but opposite in direction.” This pretty much defies the laws of physics.
      Mass+Velocity= FORCE. So if the mass of one object is equal to the mass of another object it will absorb the force…this equals trauma.

      The faster a smaller object can move, the more it makes up for mass.

      In short the notion of an object (at rest) generating force in the opposite direction after it has been struck by another moving object of equal mass is impossible in our atmosphere.

      Keeping in line with the laws of physics, my suggestion is to hit first, hit fast and keep hitting.

  6. For anyone who would like to attempt “practicing” this or finding your “dark” side, I’m instructor Nate, look me up in the instructor center. We are here to help

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