Why Women's Self Defense is NONSENSE – The Self Defense Company

Why Women’s Self Defense is NONSENSE

Why Women’s Self Defense is NONSENSE

So you took a women’s self defense class. I’m sure it made you feel good an impowered. I’m sure you and your fellow classmates felt better for taking it.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but training against another women in self defense just isn’t realistic and there is NO DIFFERENCE between self defense for men and women the same goes for young and old injured and healthy because…

Self defense is ALWAYS the smaller and weaker versus the bigger and stronger.

Self defense is ALWAYS you alone versus MULTIPLE attackers.

Self defense is ALWAYS you alone versus ARMED attackers.

Attackers target victims whom they think they can impose their will.  They DO NOT want a fair fight.

If a defensive tactic works for a woman, it will work for a man – in other words, if it works for someone smaller and weaker it’s work for someone bigger and stronger. 

Why would you waste your energy on something that requires MORE energy???

And not only are “special techniques for women” redundant – women’s only self defense classes AREN’T DOING YOU ANY GOOD. 

Because the overwhelming majority of women are ATTACKED BY LARGER AND STRONGER MEN. 

So practicing against another woman is just impractical.

We all know how I feel about partner training for self defense, but if you must, at least have your partner resemble the thing that’s going to try to rape, assault and kill you. 

The same goes for the elderly and the injured. Training against another senior citizen may make you feel comfortable…but it’s not going to help you. 

Since your need for SELF DEFENSE IS CONSTANT, you must constantly adapt your current physical ability to meet that need. (whatever your condition). 





If you can leave your house, you better be able to defend yourself

Oh and here’s a news flash….

When you’re older, smaller, weaker or injured your chances of being attacked increase tremendously. 

You may change but your ATTACKER NEVER DOES!!!! He’s still going to be bigger, stronger, and have friends to help him.

Plan to meet this person(s) because at the end of the day…we all should train like women.

Train Honestly, 

The Self Defense Company/Bodyguard

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Published by Damian (Instructor)

Founder, The Self Defense Company

Join the Conversation


  1. I agree as to the same techniques and training. But for some females, a women’s only class may be the difference between them coming through the door or not. Some women are intimidated or uncomfortable with men being there, especially if they’ve been sexually assaulted or abused.

    1. Assault survivors can be at different stages of suffering, healing, and recovery. Clarification of immediate needs, and education about therapeutic options and recovery potentials are essential, to help guide and motivate participation in a healing journey. Recovery is typically a step by step process of progressive personal empowerment. Self-defense training can play an important role but the timing and approach to training needs to fit with the survivor’s readiness to participate. I believe that the SDTS is certainly an effective and a flexible system, and therefore has much to offer many of these individuals.

    2. That’s an excellent point and the ONLY reason I put “almost” in there. But at one point they are going to need to work on someone (or thing) much larger, stronger and STRANGER.

  2. i don’t advertise woman’s self defence training, however i agree that you more likely to get the women out to a class that is woman’s only. I don’t teach anything different, I agree self defence is self defence likely a larger or multiple attack situation is what you need to defend your self against. Only one rule get home safe, whatever that takes

    1. The one point made is very true….many women who have experienced a rape against them do not feel comfortable in a class with men, or even a class of women IF the instructor is a male. The techniques are the same whether teaching men or women …Close Quarters Combat is still effective if NO MAN IS IN THE CLASS. While my company does teach a few men CQC …I do so ONLY under the umbrella of Teaching men who can protect their places of worship against a violent occurrence. My instructors and I tailor our business to women because my personal belief is I prefer not opening my self up to teach just any MAN that wants to learn lethal self defense. Damian , you and others do it and I know you are selective but this is only MY concern and I do not try to convince others that this is a fool proof model for all self defense companies/instructors. God bless every instructor …we all are doing our best to make people safer ! Dave Leeland

      1. David, thanks for posting.

        NOT going against larger, stronger attacker at some point in your training is a MISTAKE. The point of training is to replicate the situation as much as possible.

        Going against only WOMEN 100% of the time is not realistic.

        As for the “fool proof” comment – that only leads me to believe that you tell your students “This will work SOME of the time.”

        NONSENSE – you need to ACT AS IF.

        ACT AS IF you’re king kong
        ACT AS IF you will destroy anyone who tries to rape, kill or rob you.

        Because if you enter ANY endeavor with a shred of doubt you will LOSE.

        Finally, I have a small issue with people who only cater to women.

        It has been my experience that they do this because they don’t want to be challenged. Now I have no idea what makes you tick Dave and I would not venture to guess it.

        But only teaching women and “men of worship” leads me to believe you are one of those people.

        I was taught that if you open a school you must be willing to handle anything that comes through the door…NOT just women and priests.

        Oh, and let’s refrain from posting your website without permission.


        PS. I’ve also noticed its hard to find much (if any) video of you teaching or training.

        1. Sorry about the web posting …did not thhink it was a problem…my apology. You are 100% right …you can’t use another woman and make it as realistic as it should be ….. very true and that IS a weakness in our class but I know that if you have them learn the proper targets , tools and techniques they are still 100% further ahead than the standard RAD type classes. Yep, there are no videos or books written about me …I am small potatoes in this field with only @300 hrs of training from Ray Sims M- Tech, RAD, Scars ,Krav Maga and now going through your Elite training program which is excellant. At my age I will never turn the world upside down or be seen on U Tube …just trying to make a difference whenever I am able and will do it for free since it is a passion and not longer needed for lively hood. Keep training honestly …I respect you and think your service and training is the best I have seen ! Dave

  3. Women have different mind sets, and be taught preferably by a male and female team. Demonstrate moves and defensive strategies that a woman can do, namely, they dress differently, so they have weapons that a male does not have. (high heels, heavy purse, long fingernails, etc). Teach them how to use them!
    When women learn what they have for weapons, you will find that they are willing to learn more advanced defenses.

    1. Rich, thanks for posting but your comments demonstrate a serious lack of real world experience.

      1. Depending on fingernails as weapons – NOT a real option.
      In real fights, finger nails get chipped and break, even when doing something as simple as gripping clothing.

      They’re not steel daggers, finger nails are FRAGILE and actually get in the way.

      When you actually gouge, you use your finger tips.

      2. The high heel as a weapon…well…no.

      If you attempt to kick in high heels, your base foot is very unstable. In fact, we hardly use kicking at all.
      Also, bending down to remove the shoe and use it as a weapon in the middle of an attack is complete nonsense.

      The only time you could possibly use the spike of the shoe is on the ground – but again, I’ve seen a lot of high heels break in my day – so it’s not a reliable weapon.

      3. Swinging the purse…really? WTF is that going to do unless you’ve filled it with D-Cell batteries.

      This is also the reason why I’m a strong advocate of women arming themselves with a variety of weapons. It will level the playing field in a hurry.

      Funny, your version of a women with long nails, high heels and a large purse is interesting though.
      Outside the adult entertainment world, I rarely see it. Most of the women I see wear Athleta and Lulu Lemon.

      Anyway, instead of trying to make them thing they can beat someone with their like Ike Turner, maybe you should teach them to wear a neck knife, and arm themselves with REAL weapons instead of teaching things from a 1980’s self defense class.

  4. First of all, I agree about the “Marketing” issue of getting women to show up at a ‘general purpose’ or co-ed class…and I like the idea of a male & female partnership of Instructors.
    That being said, I fully agree that the moves and training MUST be realistic to the FACT that they MUST PREPARE for a Stronger assailant, and possible multiple attackers! It is NOT like a boxing or wrestling match where opponents are paired up “fairly even”..!!
    AND, as a Marine Veteran, who has been pretty severely injured by a Military injury And a near-fatal traffic accident..I have had to Adjust from a strong, well-trained 210 lb. Marine with a 29″ waist and bench pressing 400 lbs. and running 3 miles in 16 minutes…and a Brown Belt in 2 forms of Karate…to a 65 year old with artificial joints and other ‘limitations’. ADD to that I am typically with my 91 year old MOM in tow with her walker…!!
    So ABSOLUTELY I have had to adjust my Defense measures! Including a LOT MORE ‘situational awareness’ and choosing more carefully where I go, and figuring out what kind of moves I CAN still DO and finding new ones that I can possibly adapt to my capabilities.
    ALL of us will eventually face declining strength and agility…just seeing Lou Ferrigno on TV a few days ago is a reminder. Yes, he is Still Quite Strong! But, like me, he now has some artificial joints and other ‘limitations’ as he has gotten older…and has reduced his level of ‘working out’, just as I and others do as we get older and involved in more complex “Life” situations.

  5. I agree with Damian treat everyone the same and explain to every one the same.. when you do that the decision is on the person to take advantage of it or let the world continue to swallow them up.. If you want better for your self to tackle this crazy world to that we live in.. being straight forward and honest in your expression of brutal force to survive is the only way.. Thanks Damian.. I’m learning a lot but I still have a ways to go.. I have 2 girls at home and they now the truth .. Thank you for being and great instructor…

    1. As a father of two (one a teenage female) I feel your pain Leon. One wrong decision in a dangerous situation can put them in a world of hurt.

      So…I’m watching that special on JFK Jr plane crash and it’s really not a single decision that did him in, but a series of small, bad decisions.

      Leaving later than expected.
      Not paying attention to the weather (the reports we giving the all clear – but visually it looked tough)
      Deciding to drop his sister-in-law off on Martha’s Vineyard and NOT going straight to Hyannis
      Deciding to take the shorter route over water, at night, with fog and no instrument certification
      Using a newer, faster plane that was less forgiving

      Each of these decisions by itself is not a big deal, but added them all up creates a big problem.

      Inject self defense situations into this formula and you get the same result –

      Leaving later than expected
      Not remembering where you parked
      Walking instead of getting a car
      Leaving your pepper spray or weapon home
      Ignoring the guy that “you’ve seen before” following you
      Walking close to a group of people as to not appear to be scared or offensive

      The same holds true in ANY emergency service…it’s not the one thing…it’s a culmination of a few things that kills you.

  6. Exactly. I train athletes for sport performance and coach wrestling. Your opponent doesn’t care if you’re female,100 lbs, have the flu, or a bad shoulder. In fact he prefers more advantage so better be ready! In 50 years of wrestling I’ve never heard anyone EVER say “Yah I pinned him, but he had the flu and a sore knee so …”

  7. My sister lives in a small town. She was flashed by some pervert which freaked her out. She took a self defense course and was taught how to “shove the nose bone into the brain”. I laughed and told her that was bullshit. Good luck with that. I have been studying the stds system starting in 2010 with dvds. Remember those Damian? I am also a black sash in wing chun and studied filipino arts for several years. At 63 with 2 artificial hips and other ailments which have made a man on disability I train Damian’s material once a week still as this I can still do functionally. Wish my sister would listen to me

  8. when we due a women’s 6 week class, we hand out information to read at home the first day. Then show a few things that they will use. We use men and women teachers in the class. The 3rd week we bring in men students (NO boyfriends or husbands, they will try to mess around to much) They have to feel the difference between a women or a mans grab. The last week we bring back the men again to see how they are doing. Then I ask them how are they going to remember any of the stuff. S o we repeat the class several times during the year (2 day class) with the same students, no new students in this group. No charge for this. We have had very good results with this class.

  9. I’ve been through your entire course Damian, as well as a plethora of other courses from Kelly McCann, Lee Morrison, Carl Cestari, Hock Hockheim, Professor Bradley Steiner, Guided Chaos, to name a few. Most of these people don’t address self defense for women. In your opinion, who out there offers the best program?


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