The Secret of Success is in Your Failures

The Secret of Success is in Your Failures

The Secret of Success is in Your Failures

Success equals survival. A successful hunter ate that night, while the ones who failed went hungry.

The benefits of success are obvious. Beyond compensation – success gives you a sense of accomplishment, increased self worth and self-actualization. The by-products are confidence and attitude or as we like to call…swagger!

While these psychological effects of accomplishment motivate us to success, they do little in actually helping us become successful. The real technical growth, the “nuts and bolts” or the actionable items for success lay in your failure.
 
There’s far more to be gained from your losses than your triumphs.
 
Every loss exposes a need for improvement. It’s when you fail, that you look inside yourself to determine what went wrong and how to correct it. On the contrary, after victory, you tend to focus on the achievement of your goal rather than the mistakes you made. When the mission is accomplished, it’s time to move on, not re-evaluate. Your very nature allows you to enjoy the accomplishment and gain confidence and attitude.
 
Every loss, each injury holds an opportunity for adaptation and growth. In order to do that you need to be honest and critical with yourself which isn’t an easy thing to do.
 
Most times people tend to point the finger at outside forces and fail to take accountability for their actions. This is where your average person gets stuck because it takes courage to look in the mirror and give an honest assessment. When you begin with “What am I doing wrong?” you’re on the right path.
 
Each mistake brings you one step closer to success. 
 
All natural ability aside, what separates the good from the not so good and the God-awful, is the ability to take that real long and hard look in the mirror and take stock.
 
Never make excuses. Excuses are like a$$holes – we all have them and they all stink :)
 
If you make excuses, you will remain stay there; technically, emotionally, mentally and physically. You’ll be forced to repeat the same failure over and over again.
 
Remember, every career, every life, is replete with failure and setback. It’s up to you to develop the habit of getting up again and again taking stock and owning your mistake.  That’s how you get a little smarter and a little tougher.
 
Training is symbolic of life.
 
When you miss a technique or have difficulty learning a skill, you practice to improve and become competent at that skill. When you’re injured you train to work with your injury. If you’re too old, too short, too fat or too skinny – you need to compensate for those factors and adapt to accomplish your goal.
 
Self defense training is NOT for the person you will be tomorrow, but for the person you are RIGHT NOW. 
 
No one is the perfect physical specimen forever. Every state of fitness and youth is TEMPORARY.
 
Last week we concluded a five-week training course with a group who had a wide variety of disabilities from slight learning issues to severe physical disabilities.
 
The amazing thing about each of them is that they know how to adapt and over come. From the first day of their lives they’ve had to overcome their conditions to live in the “normal world.” So adapting their skills to self defense was no big deal – they do it all the time. There was a lot to be learned from that incredible group of people.
 
Setbacks are a part of life –  you’ll never be 100%. You will never be perfect. There will always be something wrong. It’s how you handle your setbacks and obstacles that make you who you are.
 
Training is about overcoming adversity.
 
Too busy, too old, too tired – adversity. Life will always tell you “NO”. If you want to succeed you need to learn from your failures – ignore life’s NO and stop listening for excuses and start looking for solutions.
 
Train Honestly,
 
Damian Ross
The Self Defense Company

Published by theselfdefenseco

Founder, The Self Defense Company

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5 Comments

  1. Finally got to read it and bam it right on the mark. The problem I see with people in today’s day and age is that if they can’t get it the very first time they give up. It’s the ones who keep on going and keep on training in what ever facet of live that are sucsesfull.

  2. Damian I find your defense program to be the best I’ve ever encountered. Our lives were parallel in a lot of ways. I’m a 53 yr old ex bouncer. I have a brother who was deeply involved in tai kwon do for his whole life. I entered the bouncing trade a tough kid with no training, but a little knowledge. Very little! Lol. For 20 yrs in the business I was never put down. I attributed this illustrious record to 3 things. 1. The ability to stop a lot of things before they started. I had some great instruction on how to read people, body language, ect. 2. Control and correct application of fear. A man too dumb to have fear, is too dumb to live. It is simply your survival instinct. 3. Every opponent is potentially better than you. Never lose sight of your weak points. And never let an opponent gain sight of them or take advantage of them. Underestimation can get you killed. Expect the unexpected and do the unexpected. Although I’ve used some of your techniques, had I had knowledge of your great program, my job would have been a lot different. And my development as a person would have been much greater.

  3. RickyShelton Rick your comments and your being here mean a lot. It’s tough to get through the noise to get your message heard. But when I read your comments it tells me the message is getting to the right people. 
    Funny, when you’re bouncing there’s a ton of exposure. At the end of the day, you’re just a guy in a black shirt. It can get tricky at times and knowing how to read and speak to people is an integral part of it. If you’re going to stay in that business you’re going to need to be a quick study of personality and body language.

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